By Sahi

Self Love

I’ve been thinking about love. Not romantic love, self-love. I hate to sound simplistic, but if we love something, we ponder it and if we don’t, we neglect or misuse it. Of course, there are gradients between treating yourself well and poorly, but if you love yourself wholeheartedly, you can’t continue to have a destructive relationship with food because self-love and self-trashing are mutually exclusive. Both conditional and unconditional love, have evolutionary underpinnings. Because infants and children are not always loveable, the love we feel for them must be unconditional so that we’ll care for them and keep the species trucking. Alternatively, adults need to be shaped in order to live in society—humane qualities need to be imparted, and inhumane ones extinguished—so the love we feel for each other is conditional. To be emotionally healthy, self-love needs to be so ingrained, so much a given, that we don’t think about it; we just know it’s there. We can’t only love ourselves if we have a perfect body or healthy diet. Self-love is a permanent, continuous state of mind. Loving yourself makes everything colorful, including how you eat and care for your body and triggers a positive process.
We all come from different backgrounds. Some of us grew up in a loving and encouraging family, and some of us didn’t. We’ve probably all had some kind of relationship in our lives that has left us feeling hurt. You can’t control circumstances, I wish we could. What you can control is your own choices. It can be hard to love when you feel broken. If you don’t come to any relationship (romantic, friendship, family), either you end up asking others to fill in the broken pieces, or shutting them out completely. You first have to love yourself. Then, you can offer relationships your strengths rather than looking to them to fix your weaknesses. We all have the power to make this decision no matter how life has dealt us. It is always easier to blame others. I repeat, always. What’s hard is looking to yourself and realizing that maybe it’s you who needs to change. Before you have amazing relationships, you have to be someone, whom one would love. Stop focusing on others’ shortcomings and instead work on yourself. Self-love will bring so much positivity in your life that even in worst times you will be motivated by your own self rather than searching for love from anyone. Self-love motivates you , gives you the power of positive thinking. Believe in self-love first rather than being in love with another individual. 

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